I
come from a large Irish-Catholic family. 12 children (Nine Boys, Three Girls),
and oodles of in-laws, cousins and grandchildren.
Now we are good God-fearing Catholics but we have never given up a belief
in spirits, spooks and the wee creatures that go bump in the night.
In fact, my family clearly believes that there is a spirit world and that
those spirits do visit us here on earth.
As scientists would say, we came to these views experientially. One of my earliest memories is of my mother and father debating over the identity of the ghost that visited my mother during a time of trouble. The ghost told her: “Don’t worry Joy, things are going to work out all right”. My mother insisted it was my father’s father. Dad said it couldn’t have been his father because his father “never wore coveralls”. Neither doubted that a spirit had visited my mom, the debate was about that spirit’s identity.
Others
in my family have also seen visions – including my sister Colleen seeing the
Virgin Mary on the roof of our house. No
miracle occurred after that vision, so we put that one down to an excess of
religious fervor and hot dogs.
In
addition to visions my mother was a whiz with the Ouija Board. Mom
ran the Ouija Board all by herself. She
would drag the board out when she was worried about something or looking for
little guidance on an issue. Her
most famous prediction came during the Viet Nam war.
My brother Joe was in Viet Nam and hadn’t been in touch for a few
months. Mom pulled out the Ouija Board and asked it when Joe was
going to come home. The board said
May 16th , about three weeks away from when it was consulted.
My brother Terry, 16 at the time and a doubter if ever there was one,
decided to stay home from school on that date to see what would happen.
He actually fainted when Joe came walking through the door at 10:30 that
morning – home on a surprise leave from the Marines!
Well
by this time you’re probably thinking: OK, cute stories about another bunch of
Irish nutcases, Jaysus do they think they are all Frank McCourt?
So it is time to get to the point.
My mother has cancer and will be living out her life in my sister
Colleen’s house.
There’s
no need to be too sad. Mom has had
a long, rambunctious life filled with highs and lows and lots and lots of love. We
have a large family and have the resources to care for her at home during these
last few weeks or months. Colleen
has had some remodeling done to make her home more accessible for mom.
It
wasn’t until this week, however, that Mom presented us with a quandary – she
wants to be cared for at home but doesn’t want to die in Colleen’s house.
We
were stunned when mom raised this new condition, and struggled to understand her
concerns. Colleen swore she wanted
Mom to be at home when she passed and, after some discussion,
Mom agreed and that is the plan for now.
But Mom is still not comfortable with the decision and I think I know
why. I think she is afraid
her spirit might linger in the house and cause Colleen discomfort.
She is afraid she might Haunt Colleen’s house - and please remember,
for an Irish-Catholic family with a history of visitations and connections to
the spirit world, this is a real concern.
Well,
Mom, let me tell you, there are a lot of specters out there.
War, famine and pestilence are alive and roaming the Earth.
The specters of cynicism and loss of faith are haunting our belief in our
government’s ability to serve the people, and the specters of hunger and
homelessness are active right here in our communities.
These
are evil spirits Mom, and I wish there was some way we could exorcise them.
But
you have given of your heart and home to many in this world.
Our family has grown because your heart expanded to bring those in need
into it. Our community has
been a better place to live because of your thousand unsung acts of kindness,
comfort and
charity. Our family
disagrees on almost every topic Mom, and we are indeed a motley group of
individuals, but we all have shared in your love and the memory of that love
will keep us together after you are gone.
So
if your spirit does decide to visit us a while Mom, I am sure it will be a
spirit of love.
It
won’t be a haunting specter but a soothing, calming whisper that reminds us we
are cared for and comforts us in the night.
And maybe your spirit can rise up and fight some of those other specters
that are haunting this community and world – Lord knows we need all the help
we can get.
Your
hand has guided us, loved us and chastised us. You are in our hearts and minds
and souls. Don’t worry about
leaving your spirit behind Mom. You
already have.